Thirty.

A quick update on the latest day of my life

Dec 01, 2023

Editorial note: This newsletter is mostly a long-form justification post that my brain sees as a requirement given my hiatus from the platform. If you’d rather avoid a thousand words musing about creativity, process and burnout, here’s a quick TLDR:

I’m back, been working on a 36-page Issue #3 of Processing
Skim this newsletter for some artwork
The PUBLIC is on an indefinite hiatus until after I finish Issue #3
New comic will be released on TUESDAY (Problems After Death #4)

Yesterday was the last day of my 20s. Today, I reflect on the fact that I’m no longer eligible for 30 under 30 awards. But first..

Sorry, Not Sorry?

I’d like to start by acknowledging the elephant in the room. It has been a while. If you’re asking the questions that I assume you’d be after I just yeeted out of this weekly newsletter for the last few months, it would likely be a combination of “so much for weekly updates to The PUBLIC” to “sucks that this guy can’t hold down a release schedule”. It’s such a weird feeling to apologize to readers - whether that is one, one hundred or one hundred thousand - for not sharing content. It implicitly suggests that what I provide is important enough to you, the reader, that it warrants acknowledgement that I have failed you in some way. This makes me feel egotistical.

The alternative is to not apologize - to act dismissive of any significance to my work, and any sense of joy or enthusiasm a reader may take from it. This also feels wrong, because I know there are people that read this and take joy from it or have felt seen by some of it. So let me just say to the segment of my audience reading this that has been disappointed by my absence, I apologize. I know, a heads up would’ve been nice. To everyone else, thanks for bearing with some oversharing on my part. I’m back, and plan on posting more consistently as I get much closer to finishing Issue #3 of Processing.

Learning to Love the Process

The main reason I’ve been gone was to reconnect with the “why” behind this project. One thing that I’ve learned about comics is it’s simply too labor intensive to just brute force your way through it. You must learn to love the process of it, and enjoy the time you spend working on it as much as you enjoy the final product. For reasons I’ve discussed at length in therapy, this isn’t something that comes easy to me for just about anything, really. But the combination of unlearning that manic style of work and setting expectations for output (specifically, with The PUBLIC) created a cycle that was burning me out.

At the end of the day, I started this project as a form of self-expression. I don’t want to lose that, despite comics as a commercial art form. That tension between expression and commercial aspirations has led to unrealistic expectations around the “why”. It has been much easier to fall in love with it again after separating from those expectations for a while. I haven’t been active online, but I have multiple comics in print, two events under my belt and a lot of art that I’ve mostly kept to myself.

Okay, no more justifying a missed deadline. Whether there’s any coherence or merit to the words above, I thank you for reading this so my brain has a level of closure around the guilt. Out of curiosity, are there any readers that struggle with sharing publicly after a lengthy time away? Leave a comment if you have any thoughts or advice on this topic:

Update on Processing

The entirety of Issue #3 is scripted, which is clocking in at 36 pages (up from 22 pages for the first two Issues). That’s a lot of extra art, but I’m roughly 20 pages into it, and have a faster workflow now that I’ve figured out the art style I’m working with for a new Place After Death (PAD). Comics are weird because they spoil shit with the cover, but you’ve likely already guessed what PAD that is because of the Issue #3 cover, or perhaps this interior might give it away:

Working within a new style has been a lot of fun, and this is easily the weirdest I’ve taken the story so far, with some pretty dark moments. Ideally we’ve built enough rapport where I don’t lose any of you, but hey, I do think some of it might be a tad polarizing. Once this issue wraps up, we’ll be on to Issue #4, which wraps up the first Chapter of Processing. Here’s the cover:

I am very excited about this one, with most of the script complete. I’ll likely look into crowdfunding for a print release once I’ve wrapped up Chapter 1!

The PUBLIC

For reasons listed above, The PUBLIC will continue to be on pause until I’ve finished Issue 3. At that point, I might revisit it in either a new format (short story / writing only?) or with a different release cadence. Engagement wasn’t really there to justify the time commitment. Huge thanks to everybody that did contribute to those first few comics.

In the World

Outside of Substackland, I have learned that there are real people making and reading comics in my area.

Being asked to sign something feels weird

In the last few months, I tabled at Fort Collins Comic Con and the Pikes Peak Zine Fest. Both were very fun and taught me a lot about myself and comics. I have more to say on the matter, but this post is already too long. I had a limited run of Issue #1 as well as a special edition zine for Problems After Death #4, a currently unreleased comic on this newsletter:

Problems After Death #4: Ted’s Dead - Special Zine Edition

This 32-page zine has a soft-touch color cover and black and white artwork. I took a lot of cues from manga for how it reads, and experimented with spreads on this one. If you want to get your hands on this, I’m offering print copies to people that refer 5 friends to the newsletter.

Refer a friend

For everyone else, I’ll be releasing Problems After Death 4 on Tuesday to read digitally.

This has been a lengthy but necessary newsletter to get back on track. We’ve got new comics on the way, as well as some other experiments with this newsletter (including writing about certain topics, short stories and updates).

Oh, and about that cake day. I’m leaving my 20s feeling pretty good. I’m really grateful for the relationships in my life. Regardless of where I’m at professionally, these connections ground me and keep me from feeling rudderless amidst the chaos. I thank you for your that - you know who you are. :)

If I have one request for my birthday, I’d like to hear in the comments section: what is something you’re currently working on you’re proud of that you’d like to share?